Are Women Living Their Dream?

by financialmom

in Financial Plan, For Women Only

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I’m sure you are wondering what jelly beans has to do with women living their dream.  Well, part of my dream life would be to be able to eat as many jelly beans as I wanted to every day, without feeling sick from the sugar high, and never gaining an ounce of weight icon smile Are Women Living Their Dream? .

I recently saw a video clip of a speaker, Mary Cantando, who had interviewed her audience of women, and asked them what prevented them from living their dream life (she called the reasons they gave excuses, by the way).

I thought it would be very interesting to do my own research on this topic, and did a very scientific study (emailed a bunch of women), and asked them to contribute their ideas for this blog post.

I received some very insightful responses, so here we go, with the reasons women give for not living their dream:


By far the biggest reason women gave for not living their dream life is their kids.  Now we know how much we love our kids – we love them to death. Women invest so much of ourselves in our kids – starting when we hold them, change them, and feed them as infants, to when we chase them all over as toddlers, to helping with homework/projects once they’re in school, to running everywhere to attend extracurricular activities to support them once they are in middle school and high school.

The truth is we probably wouldn’t have it any other way.  One very smart woman said we will pick our kids over what we think is our personal dream every time, and our children really are our dream, although we don’t realize it until they are out of the house.   Being a recent empty nester, I can say “amen, sister” to that.


Responsibilities came in as a close second, and is very closely related to number one. Here I have lumped together a bunch of responses, including the family, husband, being a mom, being the caregiver for everyone (including the parents), taking care of the pets, running the household, and volunteering everywhere.

As one woman said – we try to do everything, and be everything to everyone. We feel compelled to be superwomen, who do it all, including having a spotless house, perfectly behaved children, a happy husband, wonderful dinners, and being a Sunday School teacher.

Women are too tired to contemplate doing anything more than we are already doing. Living the dream might require we give something up, and we don’t want to do that either.

And that brings us to the next reason (excuse) women give for not living their dream life, which is -

No Time

Here’s another reason given over and over, and a direct result of the all of the above.  The good thing is women are very unselfish creatures, and tend to put everyone and everything before ourselves.  The bad thing is we tend to not take care of our own needs and desires, and so have no reason to complain if we are not living our dream life.

How we spend our time is a choice, and sometimes we need to take an honest look at the choices we are making.


Now this answer surprised me a bit, although after thinking about it, I shouldn’t have been surprised.  Women have many fears, including the fear of failure, the fear of the unknown (what if I am a success?!?), and fears we are too old or too young to do anything spectacular.

Women fear hitting and bouncing off the glass ceiling on the way up. Women fear the grass may really not be greener doing anything else, although we sure hope it would be.


For a lot of women, living their dream also costs money, more than they have or know how to get. They also fear they won’t have a support system to enable them to live their dream. which also includes the financial aspect.  Here’s where some good financial advice can be of great value – don’t be afraid to tell your financial advisor your dream!

Live the Dream

For more information on how to live your dream, please listen to last week’s Intelligent Investing show with Barb Scala of – a Life Coach who specializes in helping women get rid of the weeds stopping them, so they can bloom.

Next week Wednesday, April 7, you don’t want to miss my guest Mary Cantando of, whose mission is to bring women business owners and corporations together to develop new business relationships and opportunities.   Very inspirational women, with very practical ideas on how to live your dream!

New Profile Pic 2599R Are Women Living Their Dream?Pamela Otten is CEO of Pamela Otten LLC, a Registered Investment Advisor. She loves to work with women business owners and entrepreneurs, and women in transition due to job change, death, or divorce. Pamela will help you set and reach your financial goals, educate you to understand your investments, and teach you how to do more charitable giving. Pamela is a Qualified Kingdom Advisor (, trained and committed to integrating biblical principles with her investment advice.

cc smallest Are Women Living Their Dream?Photo Credit – NightRPStar

Financial Planning, Investment Advice, and Investment Management provided through Pamela Otten LLC, Registered Investment Advisor.

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